Greatest Hits: Geezer Stuff

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America's Oldest Teenager ... Dick Clark, who never looked his age, has died at age 82 from a massive heart attack. He had suffered a debilitating stroke in 2004.

Clark found fame in 1956 when he took over as host of 'Bandstand', a local dance show in Philadelphia. He took it national in 1957 and renamed it 'American Bandstand'. I've written more about Bandstand here.

Dick also hosted ABC's 'New Year's Rockin' Eve' for many years, as well as several game shows. He was a very successful producer as well. He also had a stake in a chain of music-themed restaurants licensed under the names 'Dick Clark's American Bandstand Grill'. My wife and I once dined at the one in Indianapolis.

There have been many jokes over the years about Dick Clark's relatively ageless appearance. The best one was a 1982 episode of 'Police Squad!' where Clark made a cameo appearance buying a jar of 'Secret Formula Youth Cream' from street snitch Johnny the Shoeshine Boy. Rest in peace. (posted 4/19/12, permalink)

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Old Meat: I recently found an old Philadelphia area newspaper clipping from August, 1969. When I turned it over to see what was on the back, I found this ad:

The prices for meat were astoundingly low. Those were the days. (posted 5/13/11, permalink)

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Old Friends: Recently, I was thumbing through a book and came across some information on old toys, including information on Manoil, a manufacturer of diecast toy vehicles. Memories came flooding back.

The first toy car I can remember was ... (more >>>)

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In Control. James Lileks has previously complained about overly-complex remote controls: "Today's remotes have more buttons than a Prussian lancer's dress uniform! Why, in my day remotes were the size of heirloom Bibles, and they had one button: on!"

I first saw a remote control in 1960 at the home of my friend Marty in Philadelphia. His dad was a well-to-do psychiatrist and the family always had the latest cars and gadgets.

Including an Admiral color television with a Son-R (sonar) remote control.

The handheld controller, with gold-tone finish and ivory buttons, could turn the television off or on, change any of the three available channels and adjust the volume to four different settings.

As creative, mischievous teenagers, we quickly found that a brass-finish, fabricated wire LP record album holder could, if the album separators were 'strummed' properly, create the sound necessary to change the channel and would override the signal from the Son-R.

We used this scientific discovery to torment Marty's younger sister whenever she had control of the remote.

"Mom! Tell them to stop strumming the record rack! They're driving me nuts!" (posted 3/10/11, permalink)

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Sleeper Buses: I had never heard of them before but road vehicles with Pullman-style accommodations were cruising the nation's highways and byways in the 1930s.

Last month, I watched the 1939 movie 'Babes In Arms', starring Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland. In one scene, Judy boards a double-decker sleeper bus to travel from Long Island to Schenectady, NY.

She has just broken up with Mickey and he chases after the bus as it pulls away as Judy wipes her tears away. Later, she can be seen unpacking in her private compartment.

The trip must have been a long one in those pre-freeway days, the bus can be seen traveling city streets at night. There were few limited access highways and most were less than 30 miles long.

Developed in the late 1920s, the Pickwick Nite Coach bus was semi-streamlined and offered 28 air-cushioned chairs by day and 28 berths by night. Hot meals prepared and served on board. There were two lavatories. These buses were staffed by a crew of three (driver, steward and porter). They ran over Pickwick-Greyhound and affiliated lines.

In the end, these buses failed to compete with rail service and disappeared. (posted 1/17/11, permalink)

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Silent Souvenirs: My wife has three decorative wood boxes, dating back to the 1950s. Her parents had them, possibly gifts from an aunt. We don't know the story behind these items; there's no one alive left to ask.

The large box is about 14x9x6 inches high. The smaller boxes measure 6x3x2 inches in height.

The two smaller boxes are decorated and labeled. The one with a flower says 'Mother'; the one with geese is marked 'Dad's Trinkets'. The wood is soft, possibly pine, but the boxes are well-crafted - the large one has dovetail joints. All are nicely stained and finished.

The two small boxes have 'Bushkill Falls Lodge, Bushkill Falls, PA' on the front, indicating that they were purchased at the lodge's gift shop.

Sometimes called the "Niagara of Pennsylvania", Bushkill Falls is an attraction in the Pocono Mountains resort area. This unique series of eight waterfalls is accessible through a network of hiking trails and bridges which afford views of the falls and surrounding forest.

Charles E. Peters first opened Bushkill Falls to the public in 1904, with a single path and a swinging bridge over the head of the main falls. Bushkill Falls is still owned by the Peters family. The Bushkill Falls Lodge is long gone.

Once upon a time, souvenirs were made in America. Wood boxes, bowls and carved statues were found in gift shops across the nation. Many of these items were made by local craftsman.

Today, too many souvenirs are injection-molded in China by the ton, then "individualized" for a particular tourist attraction by hot-stamping something on a premolded flat area.

In Oregon, you can still find local wood crafts and souvenirs made of Myrtlewood, mostly along the Oregon coast. Some of the items are very well-made but reasonably-priced. Meanwhile, most of the stuff at Disney parks is made in Shenzhen or Dongguan, where the workers have a hard time pronouncing 'Mickey Mouse'. (posted 1/12/11, permalink)

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Star Wars Episode II - Attack Of The Cribs: The Consumer Product Safety Commission has outlawed drop-side baby cribs after the deaths of more than 30 infants and toddlers in past decade.

The Hardware & Fastener Museum: Like many other guys my age, I have enough assorted screws, bolts, nuts, washers, etc. in various jars, cans and Zip-Loc bags to last me for the rest of my life. And my children's lives too.

Last week, I bent a small wood screw. I went to my museum in the garage, grabbed a couple of appropriate jars, brought 'em inside and dumped the contents on newspaper. Rooted around until I found a match. Then I veed-up the paper and poured everything back into the jars.

It took me about 20 minutes - less time that it would take to drive to town and back. No gas, nothing to buy and no sales tax to be paid. Recycle, reuse - why I'm greener than a dead Al Gore floating face down in an algae farm. And my museum still looks full - the purloined wood screw will not be missed by future museum visitors.

Once in a while, I find a bolt or nut in my driveway. I feel compelled to save it just in case it fell off one of our cars. More than likely it came off the frame of a UPS delivery truck. Or fell from a 747. I have Mystery Driveway Fasteners dating back to the 1960s in my museum. Some of the earlier ones might have come from a DC-6 or Lockheed Electra. Or maybe Carmen Electra.

I also tend to save shipping fasteners from appliances and other large items. You never know when you might need them for "something."

Many sci-fi writers have speculated that the Egyptians couldn't have constructed the pyramids without help from space aliens or time travelers. Maybe some of those visitors simply lost some things - perhaps hardware, force-field devices and/or fasteners falling out of the pockets of their silver lame' jumpsuits.

Then an Egyptian picked them up, put them in a jar (probably an earthen one with lots of hieroglyphics) and used them later to leverage big blocks and fasten them together. And ... Voilà! Suddenly, there's a Grand Opening Celebration at the Great Pyramid of Khufu. Proving that saving things in jars is a good idea.

Even though my needs for hardware and tools are much less now that I'm older, that doesn't stop me from visiting hardware stores and looking at the merchandise. My dad used to do that too. He sought them out when he traveled, so I guess there's some kind of genetic component at work.

In Corvallis Oregon, there is a small hardware store called Robnett's. Typical old-time joint - in business since 1893 and still owned by the founding family. When I lived there, I visited it often and purchased quite a bit. Had an account: "Buy whatcha need and sign for it. We'll send ya a bill at the end of the month." I loved it - bring no money; get screws with just my signature.

Robnett's is staffed by grizzly old guys who know everything. And where everything is. Fasteners are sold in bulk, too - grab a handful and put it on the scale. None of this pansy, prepackaged stuff displayed on trendy point-of-purchase fixtures. No hang-carded merchandise either.

Need two eight-inch carriage bolts? No problem. They're in a pull-out, zinc-lined wood drawer in the far side aisle near the bottom. Pick out what you need and weigh it. Mark it with that chewed-up pencil you keep in your pocket. Or behind your ear. You don't have to purchase a shrink-wrapped nine-pack. Buy exactly what you require.

Visiting the place is like stepping back in time. I'll probably stop by the next time I'm in town. Not as a mere customer but rather, as a fellow museum curator. (posted 12/15/10, permalink)

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Just One Fin: If a vehicle has the satellite radio option, BMW, Lexus and other cars have a an odd little fin installed just above the back window. I don't like the look of it; it's one of the reasons I ordered my LS 460 without the satellite package.

More 'Geezer Stuff' postings can be found here.