1. 'Itchy & Scratchy Land' is a perfect skewer of everything Disney, from the epic film, 'Scratchtasia' to Euro-Itchy & Scratchy Land. I love the park's different "lands", especially 'Searing Gas Pain Land' and 'Unnecessary Surgery Land'. Professor Frink makes an appearance, explaining Elementary Chaos Theory and makes a minor miscalculation: "Oh, wait. I forgot to, er, carry the one."

2. 'Homer's Enemy' This eighth season episode is about the short, frustrating life and times of Frank 'Grimey' Grimes. Homer's best line - during Reverend Lovejoy's boring eulogy at Grimes' graveside service: "Marge, change the channel!"

3. 'Homer the Clown' In this 1995 episode, Homer goes to Krusty's Klown Kollege and does such a good job of impersonating Krusty that the clown's bookie, Fat Tony, comes after him. I wonder if Ned ever did put Speed Holes in the hood of "the 'ol Flanders-mobile"?

4. 'Treehouse Of Horror V' is from 1994 (Season 6). Though they're all good, this is the best of the Halloween horror series. 'The Shinning' is a great parody of Stephen King's movie. I'll always remember Groundskeeper Willy's immortal words, "Shhhhh! D'ye want to get sued?" 'Time and Punishment' features Homer's time-traveling toaster which takes him to several alternate universes, including one where it rains donuts. 'Nightmare Cafeteria' features children-eating faculty at Springfield Elementary School. The kids worry about chubby exchange student, Üder, when the cafeteria celebrates Octoberfest, featuring "Üderbratten".

5. 'Oh Brother Where Art Thou' In this 1991 second season episode, Homer meets his long lost brother, Herb, who owns automaker Powell Motors. Encouraged by Herb, Homer designs a car - 'The Homer' (featuring two bubble domes, fins as well as a horn that plays 'La Cucaracha') and it bankrupts Herb's company. I especially like this episode because I once owned a car equipped with air horns which also played 'La Cucaracha'.

6. 'Homer's Barbershop Quartet' is from the fifth season and features the Be Sharps, a barbershop quartet whose story roughly parallels that of The Beatles. Chief Wiggum is the Pete Best of the group, expelled early on for being "too Village People." Barney's girlfriend is a Japanese conceptual artist (hello, Yoko); the two record a song in which the girlfriend repeatedly says "Number 8" over tape-loops of Barney's burps. At Moe's, she orders a drink consisting of "a plum floating in perfume served in a man's hat."

7. 'A Fish Called Selma' It's the Troy McClure comeback story, with the DeLorean-driving Troy courting and marrying Marge's sister, Selma: "Oh Princess Fair, wilst thou grant me thine dainty hoof in marriage?" McClure soon stars in the hilarious musical, 'Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off!' Alas, the marriage doesn't last but Selma gets the best exit line, spoken to her pet iguana: "Come on, Jub-Jub. Let's go home and I'll microwave you some nice roaches."

8. 'Marge Vs. The Monorail' Leonard Nimoy, a 'Music Man' send-up, a monorail, an escalator to nowhere, a skyscraper made of popsicle sticks (which, in an all too typical example of shortsighted urban-planning, was located across the street from a gigantic magnifying glass), radioactive squirrels and 'The Monorail Song' - what else do you need? Sing along now: "... But Main Street's still all cracked and broken. Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken ... Monorail! ... Monorail! ... Monorail!"

9. 'Bart's Comet' In this 1995 episode, Bart discovers a deadly comet that is headed toward Springfield. Hilarity and mass-panic ensue. The SuperFriends are introduced (they have their own song). Cosine and Email, SF members, make their first appearances: "Oh no, no, no, this isn't right at all!" Homer, for once, makes a frighteningly accurate prediction.

10. 'Krusty Gets Busted' In this season one gem, Sideshow Bob commits his first crime when he frames Krusty for a robbery at Apu's Kwik-E-Mart. 'Sideshow Bob' episodes are always good but this one is the best. Who can forget the PBS-ly pretentious 'Sideshow Bob's Cavalcade of Whimsy'? And there's Apu's post-robbery comment to Homer who had been hiding behind the potato chip display rack: "You can emerge now from my chips, sir. The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone."

Honorable mentions include 'Bart the Daredevil' (Homer tries to jump the Springfield Gorge; who can forget Truckasaurus?), 'Homer and Apu' (who is fired from the Kwik-E-Mart and replaced with James Woods), 'Flaming Moe's' (the barkeep steals Homer's secret drink recipe), 'Life on the Fast Lane' (Marge flirts with her bowling instructor), 'There's No Disgrace Like Home' (featuring Dr. Marvin Monroe's electro-shock family therapy session), 'King-Size Homer' (with famous Bart summation: "I think it's ironic that for once Dad's butt actually prevented the release of toxic gas.") 'The Stonecutters', '22 Short Films About Springfield' and 'The Simpsons Go To Tokyo'.

These are my opinions. Yours may vary. (insert small-print disclaimer boilerplate here)

** As Comic Book Guy said in 1997's 'Treehouse Of Horror VIII', "Oh, I've wasted my life."

Call Me Incomprehensible: Ric of the very fine blog, Pugs of War, wrote me about a phrase he's trying to spread: a "Bloodzilla moment." In The Simpsons, when Bart and Milhouse take over running the comic book store, there's a mention of the 'Bloodzilla' comic of which Bart says, "A vampire dinosaur! You can't make this stuff up!"

Ric proposes that "any instance of "you can't make this stuff up" becomes a Bloodzilla moment. Yes, I realize I'm trying to propagate an obscurity but obscurity feels just like home."

Unfortunately, I cannot agree to popularize this phrase; even though I watch a lot of Simpsons, I had no memory of the Bloodzilla quote. In the interests of objectivity, however, I checked it on the ORM (Obscure References Meter) and it scored dangerously high - reaching almost the toxic-level obtuseness of James Joyce's writings.

Sorry, Ric. The meter does not lie. However, in the interest of fairness, I must point out that "needs more cowbell" scored almost as high and seems to have caught on in certain circles. (posted 7/9/2007)

How Could I Have Forgotten: Recently, I watched a memorable 1994 Simpsons episode, 'Bart of Darkness'. It was jam packed with great stuff: a hippie getting punched in the face, a visit to a local aboveground pool retailer, Pool Sharks (slogan: 'Where the buyer is our chum'), Epsom salt, Peeping Tom cops, appearances by Indian sitarist Ravi Shankar, Jimmy Stuart and AFL-CIO President George Meany, Melted MASH, a puddle of The Beatles, Itchy & Scratchy in 4994 AD, murderous Flanders ("I'm a mur-diddly-urderer"), Maggie sleeping on Jello and Hans Moleman catching on fire.

In 2007, I listed the top ten Simpsons episodes and neglected this one. It should have made the list. Sorry. (posted 2/22/2010, permalink)