Greatest Hits: Immigration
Speaking Out of Turn: The U.S. Congress has a long tradition of permitting foreign dignitaries to address it.
In 1874, King Kalakaua of Hawaii was the first foreign dignitary to address a joint meeting of Congress. He wore a loud Hawaiian shirt, which prompted the Office of the Clerk to institute a dress code for visitors. Winston Churchill, who always dressed like a proper gentleman - even when drunk, made more addresses to Congress than any other individual. He appeared before joint meetings in 1941, 1943, and 1952. As we all know, Congress loves well-dressed drunks, especially if there's a 'Kennedy' somewhere in their names.
Last week, Mexican President Felipe Calderon seized the opportunity to blast Arizona's "controversial" immigration law. Why it's controversial, I'm not sure; it simply is a state enforcement of federal illegal immigration laws already on the books. This happened as President Obama welcomed Felipe to the White House and then sent him over to Congress. Calderon bashed Arizona's new immigration law, calling it discriminatory to Mexicans. Of course, ol' Felipe is quite an expert on illegal immigrant discrimination and abuse. His country has one of the worst migrant human-rights records in the world.
Nevertheless, many Democrats in Congress actually applauded Felipe's insulting rhetoric; President Obama stood silently with that little Neville Chamberlain smile. Oh well, at least he didn't bow.
 It is worth noting that, in Mexico, foreigners who are deported and try to return can be jailed for up to ten years. Foreigners can be banned if they upset "the equilibrium of the national demographics," are judged harmful to "economic or national interests," or if "they are not physically or mentally healthy." So much for Undocumented Diversity, an Obama administration trademark.
What's odd is that 'Calderon' doesn't even sound Mexican; it's positively Ivy League waspy. I can picture a headline in the West Haven Register: 'Local man, D. Emerson Calderon IV, wins Connecticut Regatta'.
Earlier this year, the U.S. State Department issued a travel advisory regarding Mexico that noted drug gang conflicts resembling "small-unit combat, with cartels employing automatic weapons and grenades" and warns against robbery, kidnapping and other relatively common crimes. Gang-related beheadings are nonexistent in "controversial" Arizona, which is more than Señor Calderon can claim for his own country.
I think Felipe el Presidente Whatever-his-real-name-is, that alleged Great Friend of President Obama and leader of an increasingly violent nation controlled by drug cartels, should be worrying about fixing his own failed, lawless, polluted and corrupt country. And stay the hell outta ours.
And furthermore ... Frank J. has written, "The proper response to the Mexican president coming to America to attack one of our states would be for someone - preferably someone in a cowboy hat - to silently march up to Calderon and lift him up by the back of his collar and belt and carry him all the way to the border to Mexico then toss him in the river there, saying, "And don't come back until you learn some manners."" (posted 5/24/2010, permalink)
Well Said. Vasko Kohlmayer, an immigrant living in the U.S, addressed his fellow immigrants: "Almost every day someone from our midst comes up with new demands and then grumbles when these are not met. In addition to requesting benefits of various kinds, many repudiate their host culture and insist that natives conform to their ways. There are even those who refuse to learn the English language and then chide their hosts for not accommodating their linguistic peculiarities. When they meet with resistance or difficulties they protest and complain, tossing about the charges of cultural insensitivity, discrimination or worse."
"It is safe to say that this ungracious attitude would not be tolerated anywhere else in the world. That it has been in America is due to the matchless amity of her people who try their best to satisfy the desires of their guests. But as criticisms and complaints grow more and more unreasonable, the situation is reaching the point of becoming intolerable."
"Being an immigrant myself let me say something that needs to be said, but which Americans - the genial hosts that they are - are reluctant to do: If you do not like it here, you should seriously think about going back to where you came from."
"Despite its share of problems, America is by almost any objective measure the greatest country that has ever been. Let us, therefore, be continually thankful for the incredible privilege of being allowed to live here. And above all, let us learn how to love her, for if there ever was a country that merits the love of its people, it surely must be America. She deserves it especially from those us who arrived as aliens, but whom she nevertheless so graciously accepted as her own." (posted 3/21/2007, permalink)
Another Euphemism Unmasked: Vin Suprynowicz has written about "trespassing illegal aliens, who violate multiple laws, including the statutes against fraud and identify theft, every day they're here."
He has noted that calling these people "undocumented" is meant to create the impression their "documents merely failed to show up in the mail," a situation easily remedied by filling out a couple pesky forms. "That's like calling a rapist an "insensitive lover" or a bank robber a "customer who makes withdrawals without presenting proper withdrawal slips."" (hat tip: American Digest) (posted 6/24/2007, permalink)
Vox Populi: A recent New York Times/CBS News poll found that 69% of American adults believe illegal immigrants should "be prosecuted and deported for being in the U.S. illegally." Just 24% disagree and say they should not.
Gee, my poll among friends pulled even higher numbers: 100%, not 69%. (posted 6/13/2007, permalink)
Six Degrees Of Immigration: Illegal apologists often say, "We are all immigrants." That must really piss off the Indians. Of course, they're immigrants too, having apparently crossed the Bering Strait land mass. And then, perhaps, taken light rail to a nearby casino.
If you subscribe to the theory advanced by many anthropologists, the first human was a small black woman in central Africa. Based on that hypothesis, everyone is descended from her ... so, unless you're living in central Africa, you're an immigrant.
Even though I'm the whitest shade of skin possible - one palette-notch down from Edgar Winter's pet albino bunny, I believe I may indeed be descended from that ancient black woman. Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I find that my hair is pushed way up in the air on one side. I am astonished when I gaze at the mirror because it looks very similar to a hairstyle worn by Patti LaBelle in the early 1990s. So, there ya go.
This means that, apparently, Al Sharpton and I have only seventy-nine or so Degrees of Separation. Who knew?
Of course, there are various Degrees of Immigration, too. All four of my grandparents were immigrants. But they didn't sneak across the border when no one was looking. Nor did they jump off a makeshift raft. Or hide in a Boeing wheelwell. They saved their money, booked and paid for passage on a ship and arrived with currency in their pockets (a requirement in those days) and someone to sponsor them. They came here legally. There were no government-funded 'safety nets' in those days, so my grandparents had to start working immediately. Religious organizations helped them connect with prospective employers. Even though there was church involvement, everything was done legally and above-board; there was no "sanctuary" offered. Just networking. My grandparents worked hard, learned American ways (without forgetting their Irish culture), worked their way up the economic ladder and, in time, became part of the American Dream.
Today's illegal immigrant is carefully coached on the ways of working the 'safety net' to maximize the government benefits obtained. Some of this coaching is funded by your tax and/or charitable dollars.
Robert Rector has written: "Roughly one third of immigrant households are now headed by immigrants without a high school degree. My research, based on Census data and other government sources, shows these “low skill immigrant” households receive, on average, $30,160 per year in government benefits while paying $10,573 in taxes. Thus each such household costs the taxpayer $19,588 per year. Overall, the net cost to U.S. taxpayers is $89 billion per year. My report suggests that the country would benefit fiscally by having fewer low skill immigrants, who are net tax consumers, and more well educated immigrants who are net tax payers."
Legal immigrants help expand the rich cultural tapestry we call America. But, like ill-behaved dogs, illegal immigrants are lifting their collective legs and pissing on our tapestry.
Time to call the dog catcher and send 'em back to the pound. (posted 6/1/2007, permalink)
Incredible Statistics: I haven't yet been able to verify these but, according to Grassfire.org, only 2% of illegal aliens are actually picking fruit and vegetables but 41% are on welfare. One in 10 babies born in the U.S. are to illegal aliens. 60% of Housing and Urban Development funds go to illegal aliens. 13 Americans are killed each day by uninsured drunk driving illegals.
Frightening if accurate. (posted 4/27/2007, permalink)
Illegal Immigration - A Simple Solution: My five-step program:
1. Build a tall, thick concrete wall along the U.S./Mexico border. Get the blueprints from the Israelis. Or some old drawings from aging East German Bolsheviks. Use those captured illegal aliens as laborers for the project.
2. Patrol the newly-walled border with flying robot drones equipped with death lasers.
3. Since we don't have the technology to produce the most cost-effective laser-equipped robot drones, have them made in Japan. To help stabilize our balance of trade, pay the Japanese with American-made Chevrolet Cobalts rather than dollars. The Cobalt is assembled in Lordstown, OH where the Vega and Cavalier models were produced.
Since Japanese still have bad memories of those right-hand drive Chevy Cavaliers we sold them ten years ago, give the export version of the Cobalt a new model name. I suggest using whatever the Japanese word is for 'So Sorry About Previous Crap'.
4. Hired unemployed teenage slacker gamers to operate the drones from remote locations throughout the U.S. This will lower our unemployment rate in numerous locations. And operating a game console is a job Americans are still willing to do.
5. If we catch anyone trying to sneak into America a second time, immediately ship them on a container vessel headed to China. What the hell, those things are going back mostly empty anyway, so it probably won't cost much and the Chinese are always on the lookout for cheap labor to make more crap for Wal-Mart.
Have the Chinese remit to the U.S. government the standard 'snakehead' finder's fee of $7,000 per person. This will help our trade deficit and reduce the national debt. If the Chinese balk, threaten them with tariffs. That's something we should do more often anyway ... 'most favored nation', my ass. By the way, I call this part of my program 'Two Strikes And You're In Guangdong'.
The above is not meant to be anti-Mexican. It's anti-Illegals, which is a completely different issue. Legal Mexican immigrants are a welcome addition to this country. They offer a rich culture, good work ethic and beautiful, curvaceous women who add sparkle to our breeding pool. (If you don't believe this, watch Univision for an hour.) Mexico offers much better and more flavorful foods than most of the Northern Europeans - you haven't seen anyone create a chain of Irish-themed 'Boxty Bell' fast food restaurants, have you?
And, most Mexicans quickly learn English and teach their children to speak it flawlessly. They readily assimilate and contribute much to the great country that is America. (posted 5/23/2006, permalink)
Illegal Immigration Solutions: Marc Schulman has written an excellent article on the problem of illegal immigration. He proposes a five-step program to alleviate the problem. I especially like steps 4 and 5:
4. "Require legal workers to pay into Medicaid, and deny public benefits to illegal aliens found in America."
5. "Reduce the amount of foreign aid granted to any country by a set or variable amount based on the costs associated with each illegal immigrant detained/treated/deported." (posted 12/19/2005, permalink)
Working Off One's Sentence: I'm sure I'm not the first to think of this. Let's arrest all illegal immigrants and sentence each to six months of hard labor. Doing what? Helping construct a tall wall at the U.S./Mexican border. It's good punishment and cheaper than union help. When their sentences are completed, deport them.
For most, it will be a short walk. (posted 10/5/2005, permalink)
How To Fix The Illegal Immigrant Problem: A strict new rule for renewing driver's licenses in New York State is prompting undocumented Irish immigrants to quit the United States for good. "The number of people deciding to move back to Ireland is way up on last year and the new license requirement is a significant factor in this," said Siobhan Dennehy, executive director of the Emerald Isle Immigration Center in Queens.
Why don't California, Arizona and Texas try this? (posted 9/22/2004, permalink)
Clear English: Michelle Malkin has written: "Two politicians in Maryland are now in trouble for stating the obvious: People who work in customer service should speak English."
My take - isn't it ironic that, in the most ethnic of business establishments - small businesses - Chinese restaurants, Mexican cantinas and shoe repair shops (in our neighborhood, operated by Russian or Cambodian immigrants), every person who has contact with the public speaks understandable, if accented, English. And they are polite and friendly, too. (posted 5/21/2004, permalink)
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The facts presented in this blog are based on my best guesses and my substantially faulty geezer memory. The opinions expressed herein are strictly those of the author and are protected by the U.S. Constitution. Probably.
Spelling, punctuation and syntax errors are cheerfully repaired when I find them; grudgingly fixed when you do.
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