1950 Guy: "What the hell is that?"
Me: "It's a car."
1950 Guy: "I never seen a car like that. It must be new. Looks even more swoopy than one o' them Tuckers!"
Me: "Actually, it's 15 years old where I come from. Almost an antique."
1950 Guy: "Holy cow! It sure looks fast."
Me: "Well, it won't go over 155 miles an hour because it has a speed limiter on it."
1950 Guy: "Jeez Louise! Must have a helluva big V-8 engine in there. Maybe one o' them new Rocket Oldsmobile V-8s maybe?"
Me: "No, it's a six cylinder car. And the engine is smaller than a Ford six. Just a little bigger than the one in the Studebaker Champion."
1950 Guy: "Well, I got a V-8 in my '47 Ford Deluxe. It's hotter than a two-dollar pistol. Tom McCahill tested it in 'Mechanix Illustrated' and said it'll go from a standin' start to 60 miles-per in 18 seconds flat."
Me: "This car will do it in six seconds. It'll hit 100 mph in about 13 seconds."
1950 Guy: "Holy smoke! Hey, whazzat music comin' from in there? Where'd you find a radio station with no commercials?"
Me: "It's prerecorded music."
1950 Guy: "What?! You mean you got a record player in there?"
Me: "Kinda. But it plays these little things called CDs. You can fit about 25 songs on each one."
1950 Guy: "Wow! Where do ya buy 'em?"
Me: "I make them at home. On my computer. But that's kinda old hat now. See, you can buy this thing called an iPod ..."
1950 Guy: "Yer kiddin', right? Computer? Jeez, you must have a helluva big house to fit a damn computer in there. And you must spend half your life replacing burned out tubes. I seen pictures of those things and they're just fulla tubes and plugs and sockets. The damn vacuum tubes on my 10-inch Muntz are always goin' out. Seems like every month I'm headin' over to the Rexall to test 'em on their machine. Say, where's this car made anyway?"
1950 Guy: "Izzat in Indiana? I know they make Studies in South Bend. I gotta cousin lives in Elkhart."
Me: "It's a city in Japan."
1950 Guy: "Japan?! You mean this car was made by those Jap bastards?! I spent three years o' my life fightin' those sumbitches and you're buyin' a goddam car from 'em? Shoot! I'm gonna run that piece o' Jap tin off the road into a ditch - right now."
Me: "Try and catch me with your flathead Ford, bud. See ya."