The View Through The Windshield - Car Blog

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Wednesday April 1, 2015

joe sherlock auto blogThe Sad Tale Of The Chuffley-Waite: I first wrote this fictitious story as a contribution to a car club's April newsletter in 1989. It begins thusly:

Since its founding in 1903, the Chuffley-Waite Motorcar Company, Ltd. of Bumpford-on-Thames, England had been known for the very powerful motorcars which it produced. The sheer might of these cars was symbolised in the radiator ornament used - a nickel-plated locomotive.

For many decades, these automobiles were purchased by men of power who could be seen roaring up and down the motorways forcing lesser cars off to the roadside, much like medieval times, when indentured serfs would throw themselves off the footpath, anxiously tugging their forelocks as royalty approached and passed.

The Chuffley-Waite was so famous that it was celebrated in many plays and songs, including the British version of Chuck Berry's 'Maybelline':

"As I was motorin' to Harrod's Gate
I saw Maybelline in a Chuffley-Waite.
"

Now, as you all know from your history books, the Queen's Horsepower and Torque Act of 1957 placed prohibitive taxation on large, powerful road machines and it was precisely this Act which caused sales of C-W to plummet from 7,958 units in 1956 to less than 200 units in 1957. The company suffered great financial reverses, greater even than those during the Great Depression of the 1930s.

Fearing the wrath of shareholders, Geoffrey St. James, the managing director, took bold steps to stem the tide of financial distress. Noticing that the sales of powerful American imports seemed unaffected by the Act, St. James decided to Americanise the Chuffley-Waite for 1958.

Summoning his chief designer, Nigel Humphreys, to his office, St. James ordered Humphreys ... (more >>>)


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If I have slandered any brands of automobiles, either expressly or inadvertently, they're most likely crap cars and deserve it. Automobile manufacturers should be aware that they always have the option of trying to change my mind by providing me with vehicles to test drive. I'll dutifully report my test impressions on this car blog.

If I have slandered any people, politicians, celebrities or corporations in this blog, either expressly or inadvertently, they should buy me strong drinks (and an expensive meal), while patiently attempting to prove that they're not the jerks I've portrayed them to be. If you're buying, I'm willing to listen.

Don't be shy - try a bribe. It might help.

copyright 2015 - Joseph M. Sherlock - All applicable rights reserved


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