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The View
Through The Windshield

About Cars ... and Everything Else I See
by Joe Sherlock

Greatest Hits: Possibilities (posted 6/27/2007)

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In an earlier posting, I discussed the strange events of 1967/68, pointing out that the 2008 U.S. presidential race is still in the Anything Can Happen phase. Here are a couple of imaginable scenarios:


Scenario 1

The Iraq War rages on with, seemingly, no end in sight. Republican support dwindles and no Republican antiwar candidates emerge. With no additional terror attacks on U.S. soil, Rudy Giuliani's base erodes; his social views grate on conservatives. Mitt Romney becomes the default GOP candidate, handily defeating Fred Thompson, who appears "old and tired" in the last GOP debate.

Hillary Clinton loses support as more Clinton scandals are unveiled. Meanwhile, Barak Obama encounters problems of his own as unsavory Muslim connections are uncovered within his extended family. His campaign does not provide an effective response and his supporters fade and drift away.

In spring 2008, 126 U.S. soldiers in Iraq die from a missile smuggled in from Iran. Bush orders tactical strikes against certain Iranian military installations. The conflict escalates and the Strait of Hormuz is blocked. Oil supply dries up, Iraq's money flow stops, its government collapses and civil war erupts. In the U.S., there are gasoline shortages; the price of gas hits $8.00/gal. General Motors and Ford go bankrupt, the country is slammed into a recession and the Dow drops 3,000 points. The economic hit is even worse in Europe; news reports are filled with anti-U.S. rhetoric from our "allies".

Al Gore declares his candidacy, proclaiming that "our energy and foreign policies are bankrupt" and promises "sensible solutions". "Our voracious appetite for oil brings us nothing but war, fallen soldiers, a train wreck economy, more pollution and the eventual destruction of our planet. Global warming is real," he says. Gore gets much backing from the entertainment community; big-name celebrities appear at every campaign stop, drawing huge crowds. He readily wins the Democratic nomination. The press compares Gore's reemergence to that of Richard Nixon forty years before.

The summer of 2008 is unusually hot. In late September, 38 people die of heat exhaustion at a Boston hospital during a brownout. In the final debate, Gore angrily accuses Mitt Romney of promoting the very policies which caused these souls to perish. "Their blood is on your hands," exclaims Al, pointing his finger directly at Romney.

Mitt, recovering from a bout of flu, gives an weak response while visibly sweating.

In January of 2009, Al Gore is sworn in as president of the U.S.

Scenario 2

Sometime before the Republican convention, there is another terrorist attack on U.S. soil. Paris Hilton and everything else that Access Hollywood, Nancy Grace, Larry King and Greta Van Susteren cover is forgotten as America reawakens and reprioritizes. Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson team up as candidates for President/Vice President and propose 'Fortress America' - a 12-point program to keep Americans safe.

All of the Democratic candidates denounce 'Fortress America' as fear-mongering. But they offer no alternatives to ensure the safety of the U.S. from future terrorist attacks. As the convention date approaches, polls show no strong favorite among the three leading candidates.

At the Democratic convention, Teddy Kennedy suffers a fatal stroke in the midst of one of his enthusiastic, barnburner speeches. This shocking event is witnessed live by millions in prime-time as television cameramen move in for close-ups as ETs and paramedics work frantically on Teddy's lifeless body.

The convention is postponed for 72 hours, leading to chaos at host city hotels. Bars run short of liquor as informal 'Irish wakes' are held in Kennedy's memory.

Teddy's subsequent funeral overshadows the rest of the convention and the candidate's acceptance speech becomes more of a Teddy eulogy.

Just after Kennedy's funeral Mass at St. Matthew's Cathedral (in Washington, D.C., where JFK's funeral Mass was held 45 years before), Rosie O'Donnell gives an interview outside the church, stating that the latest terrorist attack was "another put-up job by the Republican Party so that they can manipulate the election." She later wonders aloud if "that #@&*! Bush had the CIA slip something in Teddy's water." No prominent Democrat strongly denounces her comments. Meanwhile, the press compares Kennedy's death and its effect on the party to that of RFK forty years before.

For the remainder of the campaign, Republican ads show clips of Rosie's interview along with footage of her shaking hands with smiling well-known Democratic figures (including the presidential and vice-presidential candidates), ending with the tagline: "Before you vote for someone, get to know their friends."

In January 2009, Rudy Giuliani is sworn in as president of the U.S.


There are millions of possible scenarios out there. The above are just two of them.


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copyright 2007 - Joseph M. Sherlock - All applicable rights reserved


Disclaimer

The facts presented in this blog are based on my best guesses and my substantially faulty geezer memory. The opinions expressed herein are strictly those of the author and are protected by the U.S. Constitution. Probably.

Spelling, punctuation and syntax errors are cheerfully repaired when I find them; grudgingly fixed when you do.

If I have slandered any brands of automobiles, either expressly or inadvertently, they're most likely crap cars and deserve it. Automobile manufacturers should be aware that they always have the option of trying to change my mind by providing me with vehicles to test drive.

If I have slandered any people or corporations in this blog, either expressly or inadvertently, they should buy me strong drinks (and an expensive meal) and try to prove to me that they're not the jerks I've portrayed them to be. If you're buying, I'm willing to listen.

Don't be shy - try a bribe. It might help.


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